In with the new, out with the old
And so we are leaving our apartment for a new one. A brand new one. Noone has ever lived there before, noone has used the bathroom, the kitchen or the bedroom. It will be an empty house in more than one aspect, not only will we be the first ones to move in, but we will also be the first to express feelings in there. Love, gratitude, sorrow, despair, hapiness, passion, more love. We will enrichen a cold building lacking memories with our lives, our memories, our own personal mark.
life trouble strength
When your life comes tumbling down on you
like the avalanche in the mountains,
when your troubles keeps dropping down on you
like the rain in the storm,
when your strength seems to leak away from you
like the blood from an open wound,
I am here for you.
and all you've gotta do is
Turn to me.
like the avalanche in the mountains,
when your troubles keeps dropping down on you
like the rain in the storm,
when your strength seems to leak away from you
like the blood from an open wound,
I am here for you.
and all you've gotta do is
Turn to me.
Create
in the midst of darkness she took up a knife and she started to create. nothing became something. something came out of nothing. it is what you do in despair. create. you can too. it will give you your life back.
Needs
Time.
I need time. You once asked me for time. Now I need it. Time to think. Time to feel.
Time to mourn the loss of confidence, the loss of trust.
Time to cope and time to deal.
I am walking around in a world of shadows, watching the newly sprung leaves fall to the ground, wither and die. Watching the flowers that just recently reached for the sun now wilt, loosing their petals.
Spring turned to autumn.
I need time to find joy again. Time to laugh heartily.
You have to step back and give me this. Give me a chance to rebuild myself.
Give me a chance to mourn.
I need time. You once asked me for time. Now I need it. Time to think. Time to feel.
Time to mourn the loss of confidence, the loss of trust.
Time to cope and time to deal.
I am walking around in a world of shadows, watching the newly sprung leaves fall to the ground, wither and die. Watching the flowers that just recently reached for the sun now wilt, loosing their petals.
Spring turned to autumn.
I need time to find joy again. Time to laugh heartily.
You have to step back and give me this. Give me a chance to rebuild myself.
Give me a chance to mourn.
Lost
I just got to read this wonderful e-mail, from a dear friend, describing her true love. It sounded amazing, and though she has got an incomparable talent for writing, it was all so genuine. I am really happy for her, of course.
I have not yet answered her e-mail, as it got me thinking. Of my own personal life, of my true love. I thought I had found him. I was so sure of it. As if nothing could ever make me doubt it. I had the entire plan laid out: wedding, children, house, cat, cars, etc. A life. I was so prepared to give my entire life to him. The most precious thing I have.
Now I don't know what to think, what to feel. I still want to feel the same things, I still want it to work. Am I stupid? Am I falling in the same trap as so many others? I have seen it happen, over and over. I have seen friends do the same tactics he has been using. I know, I understand, what is happening. And still I want it to work so much.
Lies, deceit, mistrust which leads to more lies. It is a negative spiral, and it'll only stop with a break-up. Do I need faith? Or do I need to wake up and face reality?
I feel so lost right now.
I have not yet answered her e-mail, as it got me thinking. Of my own personal life, of my true love. I thought I had found him. I was so sure of it. As if nothing could ever make me doubt it. I had the entire plan laid out: wedding, children, house, cat, cars, etc. A life. I was so prepared to give my entire life to him. The most precious thing I have.
Now I don't know what to think, what to feel. I still want to feel the same things, I still want it to work. Am I stupid? Am I falling in the same trap as so many others? I have seen it happen, over and over. I have seen friends do the same tactics he has been using. I know, I understand, what is happening. And still I want it to work so much.
Lies, deceit, mistrust which leads to more lies. It is a negative spiral, and it'll only stop with a break-up. Do I need faith? Or do I need to wake up and face reality?
I feel so lost right now.
Ord.
Små märkliga ord
små ord, men märkliga
Små, små, söta ord
Som kan bli så verkliga.
Små ord som skapar
en blick, ett leende
Bjuder in till steg
som skapar ett skeende.
Blickar, leenden
kan leda till tårar
Kan leda till hårda ord
till ord som sårar.
Små märkliga ord,
små ord, men märkliga
Små, små, söta ord
Som kan bli så verkliga.
Puzzle
At first, you have got half of it. Half of the puzzle. And you are confused. You wonder why you have only got half, you feel something missing and you can't quite get it together.
Then you find the missing pieces. Perhaps you find them one by one, perhaps you find them all at the same time. But you find them. Eventually, you will find them. So you start puzzling things together. It will be hard and it will go slowly, because you had almost just gotten used to making out your view of the world from half of the puzzle.
Sometimes all of the pieces fit perfectly. A perfect match, they'll say. Couldn't have been better, as if made for eachother. Sometimes most of the pieces fit, and you will have to work on some of the others. At times none of the pieces fit, but you won't realize that until afterwards, when you have turned the puzzle upside-down.
So, you are standing there, half-finished, looking out on your puzzle-laying-plans and you see order, you see a future perfect match. And there's a hurricane. Rupturing through your perfect puzzle like a lawnmower over that green, beautiful lawn, with the straws who had just about grewn long enough to reach the sun again. It makes a straight line through your puzzle, shreading pieces into nothingness.
After the storm you walk around, trying to make out what to do with your once-so-perfect puzzle. A lot of pieces are left untouched, and they still fit so beautifully together. Yet, there are others who will never be the same. Pieces who has changed so dramatically, that you might wonder if they could ever be used again. If they can be a part of your puzzle.
And so you have got two choices. Patch it up, work out new pieces to replace the old ones and try to make your puzzle complete inspite of the gaping holes.
Or you could leave it and look for a new puzzle.
What would you do?
Then you find the missing pieces. Perhaps you find them one by one, perhaps you find them all at the same time. But you find them. Eventually, you will find them. So you start puzzling things together. It will be hard and it will go slowly, because you had almost just gotten used to making out your view of the world from half of the puzzle.
Sometimes all of the pieces fit perfectly. A perfect match, they'll say. Couldn't have been better, as if made for eachother. Sometimes most of the pieces fit, and you will have to work on some of the others. At times none of the pieces fit, but you won't realize that until afterwards, when you have turned the puzzle upside-down.
So, you are standing there, half-finished, looking out on your puzzle-laying-plans and you see order, you see a future perfect match. And there's a hurricane. Rupturing through your perfect puzzle like a lawnmower over that green, beautiful lawn, with the straws who had just about grewn long enough to reach the sun again. It makes a straight line through your puzzle, shreading pieces into nothingness.
After the storm you walk around, trying to make out what to do with your once-so-perfect puzzle. A lot of pieces are left untouched, and they still fit so beautifully together. Yet, there are others who will never be the same. Pieces who has changed so dramatically, that you might wonder if they could ever be used again. If they can be a part of your puzzle.
And so you have got two choices. Patch it up, work out new pieces to replace the old ones and try to make your puzzle complete inspite of the gaping holes.
Or you could leave it and look for a new puzzle.
What would you do?
Meditation
The school of Icade has this beautiful church. It's not in use, sadly, however it is a most welcomed place for me to sit down and ponder. Contemplate.
The light streaming through the windows makes the church seem so peaceful and yet blissful, as if you are blessed just to sit there for a while. It is dressed in white and without the characterstic overwhelmingness that catholic churches usually have in form of decorations and more decorations, the pureness of the white and the light makes you want to sit down and contemplate all day. It makes you feel welcome, and it makes the church itself feel more sincere, the faith more genuine.
I have for long been a strong antagonist against the church and religion, claiming to be an atheist. Still, the last times I have sat down in church I have felt relief. I have meditated over things, worries, questions without answers, and I have found that I had the answer all of the time, inside of me. However, I only found those answers after serious reflections in catholic churches. Nowhere else, not even in other churches. I have also pondered about religion, if it is something genuine or not.
Today I needed my contemplating. I did not get the answers to my questions, however I did find perspective. Life is too short to complain, to wonder too much, for all the what ifs. Bad things happen. Unfair things happen. The things I complain about really aren't worth complaining about. I should focus on living my life and on helping other people instead.
Thank you.
The light streaming through the windows makes the church seem so peaceful and yet blissful, as if you are blessed just to sit there for a while. It is dressed in white and without the characterstic overwhelmingness that catholic churches usually have in form of decorations and more decorations, the pureness of the white and the light makes you want to sit down and contemplate all day. It makes you feel welcome, and it makes the church itself feel more sincere, the faith more genuine.
I have for long been a strong antagonist against the church and religion, claiming to be an atheist. Still, the last times I have sat down in church I have felt relief. I have meditated over things, worries, questions without answers, and I have found that I had the answer all of the time, inside of me. However, I only found those answers after serious reflections in catholic churches. Nowhere else, not even in other churches. I have also pondered about religion, if it is something genuine or not.
Today I needed my contemplating. I did not get the answers to my questions, however I did find perspective. Life is too short to complain, to wonder too much, for all the what ifs. Bad things happen. Unfair things happen. The things I complain about really aren't worth complaining about. I should focus on living my life and on helping other people instead.
Thank you.
Fill up my senses
You do fill up my senses. Every day, every second that passes, you are with me. In all sorts of contexts, environments, with all different kinds of people, I think of you.
Let me always be with you.
I whish that you could see that even when we are not talking, I am communicating with you. Por siempre, por siempre. And that sometimes, I am imperfect. That sometimes I make mistakes. When I'm not there for you though I should be, when I have promised.
Like a storm in the desert.
I do not question your love. I never have and I never will. I dare hope that you will never question mine. I know that is a task for me to work on, not for you. But let me say this, even if I do not always show it, I love you indefinitely.
Like the mountains in springtime.
It hurts. Today I had to snuggle your t-shirt for an extra long time. Lie in my bed and feel your scent tickle me. Tu me faltas, como nadie. Como voy a decirte? Tengo memorias de ti por toda la ciudad. Aquí ibamos hasta solo un semana. Allí besábamos el jueves pasado. Más allá hallábamos la tienda con vestidas de novias. Dónde sentabamos y mirabamos todos los fotos de novias, dónde encontrabamos la vestida que me gustaría poner en nuestra boda. Si vamos a casar. Pero me lo gustaría.
Let me give my life to you.
You fill up my senses, come fill me again.
Come let me love you
Let me give my life to you
Let me drown in your laughter
Let me die in your arms
Let me lay down beside you
Let me always be with you
Come let me love you
Come love me again
Let me always be with you.
I whish that you could see that even when we are not talking, I am communicating with you. Por siempre, por siempre. And that sometimes, I am imperfect. That sometimes I make mistakes. When I'm not there for you though I should be, when I have promised.
Like a storm in the desert.
I do not question your love. I never have and I never will. I dare hope that you will never question mine. I know that is a task for me to work on, not for you. But let me say this, even if I do not always show it, I love you indefinitely.
Like the mountains in springtime.
It hurts. Today I had to snuggle your t-shirt for an extra long time. Lie in my bed and feel your scent tickle me. Tu me faltas, como nadie. Como voy a decirte? Tengo memorias de ti por toda la ciudad. Aquí ibamos hasta solo un semana. Allí besábamos el jueves pasado. Más allá hallábamos la tienda con vestidas de novias. Dónde sentabamos y mirabamos todos los fotos de novias, dónde encontrabamos la vestida que me gustaría poner en nuestra boda. Si vamos a casar. Pero me lo gustaría.
Let me give my life to you.
You fill up my senses, come fill me again.
Come let me love you
Let me give my life to you
Let me drown in your laughter
Let me die in your arms
Let me lay down beside you
Let me always be with you
Come let me love you
Come love me again
Insecurity
Problems seldom come alone, they say. I might say I've had my share of problems this year, with the fire and the moving back and forth and all the breakdowns and the hurt caused and the friends who weren't friends any longer and whatnot. Then again, I might also say I've gained an awful lot. Perhaps enough to outweigh the problems.
Or perhaps not.
Will it always be there? Following me, like a shadow I can't get rid of? The insecurity. I am a diversed being in that way, on one hand secure and confident, on the other hand insecure and with a lack of confidence that scares me.
I wonder, I often wonder, what I do wrong. Where did I go wrong here, what was my fault that caused the unpleasant chain of events to occurr? I know I am far from perfect. I just whish I knew how to become better. Noone ever tells me, however I see it in their eyes. I did something wrong here. How can I fix it? As I've written earlier here, I always intend for the best. I have no bad intentions, none! I don't bear grudges for long, I find it far too consuming. So what is it that I am doing wrong? I would be thankful for the notice, for, as far as I can understand, I keep getting such low scores when it comes to peopleskills it is almost frightful.
Or perhaps not.
Will it always be there? Following me, like a shadow I can't get rid of? The insecurity. I am a diversed being in that way, on one hand secure and confident, on the other hand insecure and with a lack of confidence that scares me.
I wonder, I often wonder, what I do wrong. Where did I go wrong here, what was my fault that caused the unpleasant chain of events to occurr? I know I am far from perfect. I just whish I knew how to become better. Noone ever tells me, however I see it in their eyes. I did something wrong here. How can I fix it? As I've written earlier here, I always intend for the best. I have no bad intentions, none! I don't bear grudges for long, I find it far too consuming. So what is it that I am doing wrong? I would be thankful for the notice, for, as far as I can understand, I keep getting such low scores when it comes to peopleskills it is almost frightful.
Late night philosophical discussion about truth
[ ] säger:
Do you think truth is subjective?
Airecristiel säger:
yeah, lol
Airecristiel säger:
of course it is
[ ] säger:
Blah.
[ ] säger:
This is getting tiring.
Airecristiel säger:
I figured it was a universal truth(heheehe) that truth is subjective.
Airecristiel säger:
Rofl. Sorry,I just realised the ironic part in that statement.
[ ] säger:
Where does this general assumption that there are a billion truths come from?
[ ] säger:
LOL, yeah it is funny =)
Airecristiel säger:
well, I suppose it comes from life and experience
Airecristiel säger:
discussions
[ ] säger:
If I believe that gravity has a pull of 5m/s2 instead of 9,81m/s2 will I actually fall slower than everyone who think it's 9,81?
Airecristiel säger:
realising that two people who were brought up in the same neighbourhood can have two COMPLETELY different notions of how the world and society functions
Airecristiel säger:
Lol, well darling, that's not the subjective part. I understand your point but I think you've missed the point here
[ ] säger:
That's not what I'm talking about, I don't mean points of view on things like abortion and religion and such thing
[ ] säger:
that's point of view, I'm talking about truth
[ ] säger:
The oxford dictionary says that something being true means being in accordance with reality.
Airecristiel säger:
no, I'm saying two people can have two different beliefs of what is true.
[ ] säger:
If I killed a man and somebody believed I didn't, and they sent someone else in jail, it wouldn't mean he actually did it.
[ ] säger:
What do you mean?
Airecristiel säger:
The actual question of what is the truth when it comes to gravity, etc, is not how many m/s2 is the best for gravity pull. The actual question, and subjective question there is rather: IS gravity?
Airecristiel säger:
Is it really gravity that makes us walk around the surface of the earth instead of floating around in the air?
Airecristiel säger:
Is there really a graviton? Noone knows.
Airecristiel säger:
What IS gravity? There are no answers today
Airecristiel säger:
What IS space?
[ ] säger:
I'm talking about things that can be verified.
Airecristiel säger:
well darling, I am too
Airecristiel säger:
But in a bigger concept
Airecristiel säger:
I am saying: Things can't be verified
[ ] säger:
Racism and Shizophrenic's delusions and the belief that if I believe something it's true to me.
Airecristiel säger:
and in that notion: there can be how many truth's as possible
Airecristiel säger:
I think that you cannot know anything.
Airecristiel säger:
And if you know something: how do you KNOW that you acctually KNOW it?
Airecristiel säger:
I think it's all just a series of different... ugh, what's the word
[ ] säger:
I think, therefore I am. Descartes already ignored everything coming from senses.
[ ] säger:
How do you know you're awake now and not dreaming?
[ ] säger:
How do you know what your senses tell you is true?
Airecristiel säger:
you know: first the earth was flat. Then the earth was round, then the earth is an ellips, and the sun circles around the earth, and the moon, etc etc
[ ] säger:
How do you know an atom contains electrons?
Airecristiel säger:
what's the word??
Airecristiel säger:
You don't
Airecristiel säger:
it's just the idea of how things work that we are currently clinging to
[ ] säger:
Yeah, but that's my point, just because everybody believed the earth was flat, it didn't make it actually flat.
Airecristiel säger:
Exactly!
Airecristiel säger:
However, back in those days it was the truth, just as well as we today think that the truth is that the earth circles the sun
Airecristiel säger:
it's all just different paradigms (here's the word I was looking for)
[ ] säger:
No it wasn't truth, it was just a generally accepted belief.
Airecristiel säger:
Lol
Airecristiel säger:
but how do you know that the earth ACCTUALLY circles the sun today?
Airecristiel säger:
How do you know that THAT is just not a generally accepted belief?
Airecristiel säger:
Tell me something that is true then hun
[ ] säger:
EXACTLY!
Airecristiel säger:
Lol
Airecristiel säger:
we're arguing about the same thing
Airecristiel säger:
oh how typical for me.
[ ] säger:
If we believe it, it doesn't make it true.
[ ] säger:
LOL
[ ] säger:
If I believe my rat is really a large green thing that lives in swamps and folks call an aligator, it doesn't actually make it an aligator, it just means I need medication.
Airecristiel säger:
then what makes something true hun?
Airecristiel säger:
LOL
Airecristiel säger:
but darling: what makes something true?
Airecristiel säger:
If the truth is not the generally accepted belief, then what IS it.
[ ] säger:
The closest thing to it would be something you can prove. Something you can check. People believed black men were stupid, but the power of belief didn't make their IQs smaller
Airecristiel säger:
You were earlier talking about things that can be verified. Well now, how do you know that you are acctually verifying something that is TRUE and not just fiddling with something in order to make it into something that would be easier to accept?
Airecristiel säger:
ok, bad phrasing
Airecristiel säger:
hum
Airecristiel säger:
wait
[ ] säger:
No, I get it
Airecristiel säger:
gimme a moment
Airecristiel säger:
ok
[ ] säger:
You're asking how you know something is true. Like the dream analogy. How do you know you're not just dreaming, how do you REALLY make sure... ?
Airecristiel säger:
hum.. almost just not exactly
Airecristiel säger:
My point is: earlier people found it easy to determine and verify that if you sail to the edge of the world you would fall down, cause the world is flat. Before that people could apparently verify that there's this guy called Jesus, and he is the son of God.
Airecristiel säger:
How do you KNOW know that what is being verified today is really the truth, and not just another paradigm?
Airecristiel säger:
You can't
Airecristiel säger:
because a paradigm is the truth as we view it today.
[ ] säger:
I know, I agree
Airecristiel säger:
thus: truth is subjective
Airecristiel säger:
There IS no general truth
Airecristiel säger:
the truth will always change
Airecristiel säger:
I don't believe there to BE an end, a final stop, when and where we can figure out and understand everything
[ ] säger:
But.
[ ] säger:
If I kill a man and everybody believes somebody else did it. And they put someone else in prison. Does that mean he actually did it?
[ ] säger:
I get your point, I just don't think it can be applied to anything other than our perception of the world.
Airecristiel säger:
I believe the truth is just as infinate as space, the longer you get into it and the more you seem to be able to grasp (figuratively) the farther it expands, and the faster it expands.
Airecristiel säger:
well does that mean you acctually KILLED him?
Airecristiel säger:
And if so: is that a crime?
Airecristiel säger:
what is a crime?
Airecristiel säger:
A crime is a human invention darling, in order to make people fit into society
[ ] säger:
LOL
[ ] säger:
Yes
Airecristiel säger:
thus: what a crime is, is subjective.
[ ] säger:
No no no
[ ] säger:
Well, yes, the definition of crime is subjective
Airecristiel säger:
No: CRIME is subjective
[ ] säger:
but if I made a balloon pop with a needle and I blamed my sister, did she do it?
[ ] säger:
Yes, I know what you mean, but it's not what I was asking
[ ] säger:
I wasn't asking about the punishment, but if it meant somebody else made his life end
Airecristiel säger:
I understand what you are asking, but I want you to look in another direction
[ ] säger:
LOL
Airecristiel säger:
You are asking about more specific things whilst I am talking about larger perspective.
Airecristiel säger:
ok let's say you blamed your sister for popping a balloon with a needle, when it was really you who did it. First of all: if you really believe she did it, then, according to you, she did. Secondly, if you make the entire world believe she did it, then that would be the generally accepted truth, and she would be to blame and people would regard it the truth that SHE popped the balloon.
Airecristiel säger:
Therefore: truth is subjective
Airecristiel säger:
see my point?
[ ] säger:
Yes
Airecristiel säger:
Yes yes yes: truth is subjective
[ ] säger:
That's the worst thing. I see your point, I know you have a good point, I just think it's wrong. :S
Airecristiel säger:
LOL
[ ] säger:
I can't believe my mind works that way. :S
Airecristiel säger:
I love this
Airecristiel säger:
tell me how it's wrong?
[ ] säger:
Because if everybody believed it, and they thought it was true, it wouldn't be any more true than the earth being flat and turning round.
[ ] säger:
I see why it would seem as if it was true. But even if I believed I didn't do it, if somebody taped it and hid the tape and it could show the actual events, everyone, me included, believing I didn't pop the baloon the tape wouldn't change to her doing it.
Airecristiel säger:
I think you and I are talking about two different notions of truth hun
Airecristiel säger:
I am talking about the general idea of what is the truth
Airecristiel säger:
and you are talking about facts
[ ] säger:
You're right
Airecristiel säger:
And I don't believe either one of them to ever be complete or true.
[ ] säger:
LOL
Airecristiel säger:
however, if someone HAD videotaped you, you would probably think it was either edited or another videotaping, and not the truth
Airecristiel säger:
right?
[ ] säger:
LOL
[ ] säger:
You know my point, and I know your point
Airecristiel säger:
can I put this discussion on my blog? I loved it! :D
[ ] säger:
LOL :D
[ ] säger:
Sure :D
Do you think truth is subjective?
Airecristiel säger:
yeah, lol
Airecristiel säger:
of course it is
[ ] säger:
Blah.
[ ] säger:
This is getting tiring.
Airecristiel säger:
I figured it was a universal truth(heheehe) that truth is subjective.
Airecristiel säger:
Rofl. Sorry,I just realised the ironic part in that statement.
[ ] säger:
Where does this general assumption that there are a billion truths come from?
[ ] säger:
LOL, yeah it is funny =)
Airecristiel säger:
well, I suppose it comes from life and experience
Airecristiel säger:
discussions
[ ] säger:
If I believe that gravity has a pull of 5m/s2 instead of 9,81m/s2 will I actually fall slower than everyone who think it's 9,81?
Airecristiel säger:
realising that two people who were brought up in the same neighbourhood can have two COMPLETELY different notions of how the world and society functions
Airecristiel säger:
Lol, well darling, that's not the subjective part. I understand your point but I think you've missed the point here
[ ] säger:
That's not what I'm talking about, I don't mean points of view on things like abortion and religion and such thing
[ ] säger:
that's point of view, I'm talking about truth
[ ] säger:
The oxford dictionary says that something being true means being in accordance with reality.
Airecristiel säger:
no, I'm saying two people can have two different beliefs of what is true.
[ ] säger:
If I killed a man and somebody believed I didn't, and they sent someone else in jail, it wouldn't mean he actually did it.
[ ] säger:
What do you mean?
Airecristiel säger:
The actual question of what is the truth when it comes to gravity, etc, is not how many m/s2 is the best for gravity pull. The actual question, and subjective question there is rather: IS gravity?
Airecristiel säger:
Is it really gravity that makes us walk around the surface of the earth instead of floating around in the air?
Airecristiel säger:
Is there really a graviton? Noone knows.
Airecristiel säger:
What IS gravity? There are no answers today
Airecristiel säger:
What IS space?
[ ] säger:
I'm talking about things that can be verified.
Airecristiel säger:
well darling, I am too
Airecristiel säger:
But in a bigger concept
Airecristiel säger:
I am saying: Things can't be verified
[ ] säger:
Racism and Shizophrenic's delusions and the belief that if I believe something it's true to me.
Airecristiel säger:
and in that notion: there can be how many truth's as possible
Airecristiel säger:
I think that you cannot know anything.
Airecristiel säger:
And if you know something: how do you KNOW that you acctually KNOW it?
Airecristiel säger:
I think it's all just a series of different... ugh, what's the word
[ ] säger:
I think, therefore I am. Descartes already ignored everything coming from senses.
[ ] säger:
How do you know you're awake now and not dreaming?
[ ] säger:
How do you know what your senses tell you is true?
Airecristiel säger:
you know: first the earth was flat. Then the earth was round, then the earth is an ellips, and the sun circles around the earth, and the moon, etc etc
[ ] säger:
How do you know an atom contains electrons?
Airecristiel säger:
what's the word??
Airecristiel säger:
You don't
Airecristiel säger:
it's just the idea of how things work that we are currently clinging to
[ ] säger:
Yeah, but that's my point, just because everybody believed the earth was flat, it didn't make it actually flat.
Airecristiel säger:
Exactly!
Airecristiel säger:
However, back in those days it was the truth, just as well as we today think that the truth is that the earth circles the sun
Airecristiel säger:
it's all just different paradigms (here's the word I was looking for)
[ ] säger:
No it wasn't truth, it was just a generally accepted belief.
Airecristiel säger:
Lol
Airecristiel säger:
but how do you know that the earth ACCTUALLY circles the sun today?
Airecristiel säger:
How do you know that THAT is just not a generally accepted belief?
Airecristiel säger:
Tell me something that is true then hun
[ ] säger:
EXACTLY!
Airecristiel säger:
Lol
Airecristiel säger:
we're arguing about the same thing
Airecristiel säger:
oh how typical for me.
[ ] säger:
If we believe it, it doesn't make it true.
[ ] säger:
LOL
[ ] säger:
If I believe my rat is really a large green thing that lives in swamps and folks call an aligator, it doesn't actually make it an aligator, it just means I need medication.
Airecristiel säger:
then what makes something true hun?
Airecristiel säger:
LOL
Airecristiel säger:
but darling: what makes something true?
Airecristiel säger:
If the truth is not the generally accepted belief, then what IS it.
[ ] säger:
The closest thing to it would be something you can prove. Something you can check. People believed black men were stupid, but the power of belief didn't make their IQs smaller
Airecristiel säger:
You were earlier talking about things that can be verified. Well now, how do you know that you are acctually verifying something that is TRUE and not just fiddling with something in order to make it into something that would be easier to accept?
Airecristiel säger:
ok, bad phrasing
Airecristiel säger:
hum
Airecristiel säger:
wait
[ ] säger:
No, I get it
Airecristiel säger:
gimme a moment
Airecristiel säger:
ok
[ ] säger:
You're asking how you know something is true. Like the dream analogy. How do you know you're not just dreaming, how do you REALLY make sure... ?
Airecristiel säger:
hum.. almost just not exactly
Airecristiel säger:
My point is: earlier people found it easy to determine and verify that if you sail to the edge of the world you would fall down, cause the world is flat. Before that people could apparently verify that there's this guy called Jesus, and he is the son of God.
Airecristiel säger:
How do you KNOW know that what is being verified today is really the truth, and not just another paradigm?
Airecristiel säger:
You can't
Airecristiel säger:
because a paradigm is the truth as we view it today.
[ ] säger:
I know, I agree
Airecristiel säger:
thus: truth is subjective
Airecristiel säger:
There IS no general truth
Airecristiel säger:
the truth will always change
Airecristiel säger:
I don't believe there to BE an end, a final stop, when and where we can figure out and understand everything
[ ] säger:
But.
[ ] säger:
If I kill a man and everybody believes somebody else did it. And they put someone else in prison. Does that mean he actually did it?
[ ] säger:
I get your point, I just don't think it can be applied to anything other than our perception of the world.
Airecristiel säger:
I believe the truth is just as infinate as space, the longer you get into it and the more you seem to be able to grasp (figuratively) the farther it expands, and the faster it expands.
Airecristiel säger:
well does that mean you acctually KILLED him?
Airecristiel säger:
And if so: is that a crime?
Airecristiel säger:
what is a crime?
Airecristiel säger:
A crime is a human invention darling, in order to make people fit into society
[ ] säger:
LOL
[ ] säger:
Yes
Airecristiel säger:
thus: what a crime is, is subjective.
[ ] säger:
No no no
[ ] säger:
Well, yes, the definition of crime is subjective
Airecristiel säger:
No: CRIME is subjective
[ ] säger:
but if I made a balloon pop with a needle and I blamed my sister, did she do it?
[ ] säger:
Yes, I know what you mean, but it's not what I was asking
[ ] säger:
I wasn't asking about the punishment, but if it meant somebody else made his life end
Airecristiel säger:
I understand what you are asking, but I want you to look in another direction
[ ] säger:
LOL
Airecristiel säger:
You are asking about more specific things whilst I am talking about larger perspective.
Airecristiel säger:
ok let's say you blamed your sister for popping a balloon with a needle, when it was really you who did it. First of all: if you really believe she did it, then, according to you, she did. Secondly, if you make the entire world believe she did it, then that would be the generally accepted truth, and she would be to blame and people would regard it the truth that SHE popped the balloon.
Airecristiel säger:
Therefore: truth is subjective
Airecristiel säger:
see my point?
[ ] säger:
Yes
Airecristiel säger:
Yes yes yes: truth is subjective
[ ] säger:
That's the worst thing. I see your point, I know you have a good point, I just think it's wrong. :S
Airecristiel säger:
LOL
[ ] säger:
I can't believe my mind works that way. :S
Airecristiel säger:
I love this
Airecristiel säger:
tell me how it's wrong?
[ ] säger:
Because if everybody believed it, and they thought it was true, it wouldn't be any more true than the earth being flat and turning round.
[ ] säger:
I see why it would seem as if it was true. But even if I believed I didn't do it, if somebody taped it and hid the tape and it could show the actual events, everyone, me included, believing I didn't pop the baloon the tape wouldn't change to her doing it.
Airecristiel säger:
I think you and I are talking about two different notions of truth hun
Airecristiel säger:
I am talking about the general idea of what is the truth
Airecristiel säger:
and you are talking about facts
[ ] säger:
You're right
Airecristiel säger:
And I don't believe either one of them to ever be complete or true.
[ ] säger:
LOL
Airecristiel säger:
however, if someone HAD videotaped you, you would probably think it was either edited or another videotaping, and not the truth
Airecristiel säger:
right?
[ ] säger:
LOL
[ ] säger:
You know my point, and I know your point
Airecristiel säger:
can I put this discussion on my blog? I loved it! :D
[ ] säger:
LOL :D
[ ] säger:
Sure :D
Vika
Sometimes we walk through the world blindfolded.
I am glad you've opened your eyes.
Love
I am glad you've opened your eyes.
Love
A life of Accomplishment
In a poll I recently answered the question: "A life of leisure or one of accomplishment?"
The answer was simple: accomplishment.
This evening, while stretching after working out, I started thinking about it. What would all my accomplishments be worth if I died suddenly, one day? Not much, I presume. And I thought about how increadibly sad it would be considering all the sacrifices I have had to make in order to achieve my accomplishments. No free time. No recreation time. I haven't painted or drawn for years now. I haven't had a holiday for two years. Seriously, not even a week of vacation at home. Most importantly: No time to spend amongst friends and family.
Last year three people in my circle of friends and family passed away. In each case I hadn't seen them for over a year. And then they died. Gone. Forever. No more opportunities to play cards with Rolf, or hang out with Tom. No more opportunities to see my great grandmother again. After all I am her eldest grand-grandchild. Or, well.. I was. I still am, however she is no more. What tense would be correct to use?
Anyway, side-track. I realised after a short while of thinking that I would never be able to live without accomplishments. I would never feel that sensation of success and happiness I get whenever I achieve one of my goals. I would never feel that I am acctually working for something, I would have no motivation for my life. A life of accomplishments is a life in action. Without that, I wouldn't be me.
So I decided that in the end and after all, it is cruical for me to have these accomplishments and this struggle. Hopefully it will one day get me to a place in which I have the ability to spend more time with my family and friends than I am able to do now. And have all the accomplishment. It will be worth it. (Worth what? Everything)
The answer was simple: accomplishment.
This evening, while stretching after working out, I started thinking about it. What would all my accomplishments be worth if I died suddenly, one day? Not much, I presume. And I thought about how increadibly sad it would be considering all the sacrifices I have had to make in order to achieve my accomplishments. No free time. No recreation time. I haven't painted or drawn for years now. I haven't had a holiday for two years. Seriously, not even a week of vacation at home. Most importantly: No time to spend amongst friends and family.
Last year three people in my circle of friends and family passed away. In each case I hadn't seen them for over a year. And then they died. Gone. Forever. No more opportunities to play cards with Rolf, or hang out with Tom. No more opportunities to see my great grandmother again. After all I am her eldest grand-grandchild. Or, well.. I was. I still am, however she is no more. What tense would be correct to use?
Anyway, side-track. I realised after a short while of thinking that I would never be able to live without accomplishments. I would never feel that sensation of success and happiness I get whenever I achieve one of my goals. I would never feel that I am acctually working for something, I would have no motivation for my life. A life of accomplishments is a life in action. Without that, I wouldn't be me.
So I decided that in the end and after all, it is cruical for me to have these accomplishments and this struggle. Hopefully it will one day get me to a place in which I have the ability to spend more time with my family and friends than I am able to do now. And have all the accomplishment. It will be worth it. (Worth what? Everything)
Love
It is the knowledge of big brown eyes and dark curly hair that awaits my kisses.
It is the feeling of small, smooth hands and adorable cheeks.
It is the affection provided by a sunny smile and three simple words
[oh so simple, but all too rare].
It is the comfort of a warm embrace, of shedded tears and of complete trust.
It is the lack of distrust, the lack of disappointment, the lack of errors and mistakes.
It is the idolizing and the putting on a piedestal.
It is the perfect mornings and the perfect evenings
[always always].
It is your endless days before us that seem to pass too quickly.
It is the sensation of life in its fullest and most absolute form.
It is Me and You.
It is You and Him.
It is Him and Me.
It is You, and you are waiting.
It is the feeling of small, smooth hands and adorable cheeks.
It is the affection provided by a sunny smile and three simple words
[oh so simple, but all too rare].
It is the comfort of a warm embrace, of shedded tears and of complete trust.
It is the lack of distrust, the lack of disappointment, the lack of errors and mistakes.
It is the idolizing and the putting on a piedestal.
It is the perfect mornings and the perfect evenings
[always always].
It is your endless days before us that seem to pass too quickly.
It is the sensation of life in its fullest and most absolute form.
It is Me and You.
It is You and Him.
It is Him and Me.
It is You, and you are waiting.
"This is nothing, everything is nothing"
Have you ever had that feeling of total resignment?
Complete hopelessness? Losing track and the road before you is lost.
What was once there has now vanished, be it hopes, dreams, aspirations or the will to continue.
An emptiness has taken place in your stomach and the world has turned grey.
You're not even considering the meaning of life, as there is no point. There is no point in anything anymore, right? When it all comes down to it. Right?
Right.
Completely lost in a nothingness.
Complete hopelessness? Losing track and the road before you is lost.
What was once there has now vanished, be it hopes, dreams, aspirations or the will to continue.
An emptiness has taken place in your stomach and the world has turned grey.
You're not even considering the meaning of life, as there is no point. There is no point in anything anymore, right? When it all comes down to it. Right?
Right.
Completely lost in a nothingness.
